The Psychology of Gift Giving: Dogs, Bonds, & Happiness
- Rachel
- Dec 8
- 6 min read
Understanding the Psychology of Gift Giving
In this post: Discover why giving gifts makes us happier (backed by science), how it strengthens bonds with our dogs, and practical gift ideas that create lasting connection.
December- the time of year when the Western world goes CRAZY for buying gifts. But here’s something that might surprise you: the science shows that giving to others actually does a lot for ourselves- it makes us happier when we give and it strengthens our relationships. Perhaps that is why Christmas time is seen as the happiest time of year as we coalesce around traditions of gift-giving. So what better time to take a deep dive into the psychology of gift giving! And while humans specifically give gifts (all wrapped up in a nice package!) our dogs have a unique way of giving in return and showing their gratitude, so I’ll also explore how our dogs can be part of this joyful time of year.
The “Helper’s High”: How Giving Lights Up Your Brain
If you’re new here and don’t know, I’m a huge psychology buff- I love knowing the why and how behind our human behaviors. And something that really fascinates me is how something so altruistic- like giving a gift actually gives back to ourselves. Apparently, when we give gifts to others, it literally lights up our brains (makes our body temperature rise, and releases those feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins).
Giving to others gives us what many call the “helper’s high”! Research from the University of Chicago found that people who give gifts experience longer-lasting happiness than those who spend on themselves—and interestingly, the joy from giving on the fifth day was just as strong as on the first (O’Brien, 2018). Our brains don't adapt to the pleasure of generosity the way they do to other rewards.
Strengthening Bonds Through Giving
That’s right- giving has a reciprocal nature. When we give to others, we are strengthening our bond with them. We are showing them that we care for them, that they belong to our group, and that we are thinking of them (Jeunemaitre, 2024). Gift-giving also releases oxytocin- which you might have heard about as it relates to bonding. And can you believe that there is a connection between oxytocin and dogs? This chemical gets released by both humans and dogs during positive interactions (Balconi & Fronda, 2018). It’s why thoughtful gifts actually create lasting connections, not just a brief fun moment. And funny enough- it does the same thing to our dogs! From the time I was young, I remember hearing things about training dogs that centered around showing them that you are the alpha, and that you have dominion over them- that obedience from them was the most important thing. But being Niska’s mom has actually led me to learn a very different side- that having a dog in your family is actually more like a relationship.
Dogs are very social creatures,
and they respond to what we give them. They are always looking for our approval, and when we treat them well, they show up in kind. But listen, giving to our dogs doesn’t necessarily mean just giving them treats or new toys to tear apart (though of course I can say from experience that Niska LOVES that!). It also means giving them our time through couch cuddles and long walks, showing them affection through head scratches and verbal praise, and respecting their space and boundaries when they need it. When we engage in these behaviors, it shows our dogs that they are safe with us, and that we value them as our companions. Knowing this benefit is all the proof I need (as if I needed it anyway haha) to give my dog bonding time and cuddles during the cold winter months.
How Dogs Give (And Why It Matters)
I mentioned that dogs give back to us when we give… but of course they don’t show their gratitude and love in the same way (although it sure feels like Niska has a hold on my credit card sometimes!). Dogs largely give gifts through their actions- like licking, cuddling, zoomies, and sharing (Spot & Tango). Ever noticed that when you are scratching your dog’s tummy or behind their ears they try to also lick your hand or arm? As dogs are very social, they feel the need to show you affection in return, and licking is a way they do this. Licking actually ties back to what they did as puppies to their mothers. This behavior not only gives you a signal that they are appreciative (their way of saying “thanks!”), but also creates a positive feedback loop- because you probably react in a positive way, showing them affection when they nudge or lick you.
Dogs also say thank you and give us gifts when they snuggle up beside you. How? They are literally showing you that they trust you and feel safe with you- and let’s be honest, didn’t we all get a dog so we could have that little fur ball snuggle up? I also sort of think of dogs as hyper little kids- because of course, not only are they needy :D, they don’t know how to say “thank you,” specifically, but show their excitement with lots of energy- and sometimes break out into zoomies! Now of course, zoomies are also what they do when they need to get rid of excess energy, but I love this little token in response to me giving my time to play with Niska, or to a new toy. It makes me laugh and definitely makes me want to keep engaging.
And lastly, I definitely don’t care as much about Niska’s toys as she does, but it definitely warms my heart when she comes to me and drops off a toy (sometimes because she wants to play fetch), but sometimes she does it to show that she wants to share her prized possession. And for a dog, I seriously don’t think there is any greater sign of gratitude and love.
Gift Ideas That Keep the Joy Going
You were probably already planning to give gifts this season - and maybe you’ve already purchased some. But knowing that it makes us feel good in return (and knowing that it gives those around us the same high when they give) will likely make you feel less guilty about receiving a gift, or giving one. This year, I implore you to give a gift that will keep giving: something that can continually give them joy.
But what kind of gift keeps giving to both giver and receiver? Something that enhances daily connection. A custom-fit harness isn’t just gear- it’s a daily reminder of comfort and care, strengthening the bond of trust every time you buckle it on. A handmade leash becomes part of your communication ritual on walks, where you and your dog move together in sync. These aren’t just products- they’re tools for deepening the relationship that makes both of you happier. Because admit it- you deserve to feel that high from giving a meaningful gift for dogs & that dog lover in your life!
Knowing all of the benefits of giving- that it literally feels good and gives back
to us, helps us strengthen our relationships, and that our dogs give back to us- here are a few tips I have:
Choose comfort over cuteness - A custom-fit harness shows you care about your dog's specific body and needs, not just aesthetic appeal
Invest in daily rituals - Items used every day (leashes, harnesses) create repeated bonding moments
Measure, don't guess - Use our measurement guide to ensure the perfect fit (shows thoughtfulness)
Build a complete walking kit - Start with one quality item and add to it (harness → leash → treat bag)
Share the knowledge - Forward this to a fellow dog parent who'd appreciate the psychology behind better gear
Ready to give a gift that strengthens your bond? Shop our custom-fit harness collection or start with our measurement guide to find the perfect fit for your dog. Your thoughtfulness today creates daily moments of connection that benefit both of you.
Ready to give a gift that strengthens your bond? Shop our custom-fit harnesses collection or start with our measurement guide to find the perfect fit for your dog. Your thoughtfulness today creates daily moments of connection that benefit both of you.
Share this post with a fellow dog parent who'd love to understand the science behind better gear!
Rachel is the founder of Exuberant Paws and a dog psychology enthusiast who loves exploring the science behind our relationships—including the one with her Patterdale Terrier, Niska. Through countless walks, cuddles, and yes, zoomies, Niska has taught her that the best gifts aren't just about function—they're about strengthening the bond between you and your dog.
References:
Balconi, M., & Fronda, G. (2018). A gift for gratitude and cooperative behavior: Brain and cognitive effects. Frontiers in Psychology. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7137728/
Jeunemaitre, A. M. (2024). The Power of Gifting. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/consumption-and-lifestyles/202412/the-power-of-gifting
O’Brien, E. (2018). The Joy of Giving Lasts Longer Than the Joy of Getting. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/the-joy-of-giving.html
Spot & Tango. 10 Ways Dogs Say “Thank You” to Their Humans.
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